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"Don't let your happiness depend on something you may lose." ~C. S. Lewis

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PostHeaderIcon Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday (Elton John?)

Saturday’s training! It was a well-intentioned day, for sure. And, a rainy day. Of course. That’s the pattern the Northwest is in right now. Did you know March 2014 is THE rainiest March on record around here? Yikes. At least I’m not crazy for being so frustrated about it. But, I did get a lot more done that day. It started out not great, as some work I’d contracted out, thinking I’d get highly professional work returned was way way off and pissed me off beyond belief.

Was I overreacting? Was my reaction justified? Well, I sent it out to a number of people I trust and respect and they all had the same remarks – amateur and no, you cannot put your name to it. At least my judgment was on target. My standards aren’t too high, the work was sub par. As I got stirred up as the day went along, I found myself burning through hours of time, getting further away from getting a quick run in (the endurance run Thursday, and hill repeats Friday, I need just a short run and some core work today!) Sure, I do an hour of yard work, which does a fair bit of work on my whole body, what with everything being heavier from a week of rain.

I suck it up and get through a couple hours of work. At this point, as an entrepreneur, you work weekends. You own it. It’s 24/7 really. I can’t take a weekend off and not get some things done, check email or move projects forward. Doesn’t work that way. It’s almost funny to me, I spent so many years creating, crafting and enforcing boundaries of work and life balance in my schedule and it’s really gone out the window. Sure, technology and the ability and subsequent expectation that you can be reached any time and should respond at all times shifted that. And, solopreneuring means always “on.”

Including sometimes connecting with work projects not just on the interwebs but also in phone calls. Asking to talk, I agree and get on the phone to get a “brief” rundown of the issues with the project. Brief turns into an hour. Suddenly, I realize if I’m holding true to my goals, and myself I’ve got to get a run in. I excuse myself, confess knowing I’ll get full support that I need to get a run in, and get ready for one in about five minutes.

As I’m getting ready, the sun starts to peak through some parting clouds, beckoning me to get thee out there.

Just the act of doing so, my mood lifts considerably. And sun forces open more clouds, the ground still soaked from another day’s rainstorm. I’m a little discombobulated from my day and from not great sleep, but…I’m out here. I’m getting it done. I’m making it happen. And following through on my internal goal.

It’s not the prettiest run, nor the fastest. But I know it’s an “every little bit counts” kind of day. And a race in a week, there’s a motivation that’s pretty strong. The exhaustion I feel from a long week and adjusting body doesn’t compare to the exhilaration from finally being out here today.

Feet feel not so great. Tight in my shoes. I don’t get it but it’s a short run I’m getting in, just three or so miles. Still. They don’t feel good. New shoes, I think. But. I’ve run in them twice already, they didn’t feel like this before? As I start my return on this out and back loop, I think, hmmm, did I through the insoles into these and didn’t need to? I do recall taking them out of another pair and putting them in here, but I could’ve sworn I’d done that before and/or noticed that I’d taken the manufacturer’s insoles out already.

About a quarter back on the back half, I stop. I’m just gonna check. See if I’m doing a run with double inserts. I burst out laughing, my left foot resting on a mail box, nice bonus quad stretch occurring as I stick my hand down by my arch to feel, yup, two inserts. “Dummy” I whisper to myself. No, I take that back. But “silly” yes.

I stand like a flamingo on my right leg as I wrestle the top insert out of the left shoe and shove it in my jacket pocket. I grasp the mail box as I slip my left foot in again and switch over, left foot balancing as I slide out the right shoes insert, socked right foot resting on my inside left thigh, pseudo tree pose.

Suddenly there’s SO much room in my shoes it almost feels funnily vacant. I lace up and tighten again so take off for a last bit of the run, heading home feeling pretty good about the effort made to get this little run in. It would’ve been SO easy to let it go, slough it off, postpone it and find another way to distress from the project. BUT I did not, I followed my own advice and used the run itself to distress, clear my mind and rebalance.

Oh, running. What you do for me.

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